


i'm telling the truth this time (happy ending)

by blushao (horizsan)



Series: an ode [9]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Falling In Love Again, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, M/M, No Sexual Content, Post-breakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:13:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25005220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horizsan/pseuds/blushao
Summary: Jihoon never thought he would fall in love with Soonyoung again, but here he is. And this time, when he tells Soonyoung he loves him, he's telling the truth.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, and past soonhan, mentions of background jisol
Series: an ode [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1684186
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	i'm telling the truth this time (happy ending)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jazzy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jazzy/gifts).



> so, this ended up being a lot longer than i expected it to be, and it also took me longer than i thought it would to get inspiration and motivation to actually write this. sorry this took so long, jazzy, but here it is, finally. i hope you like it!
> 
> warnings: just profanity, that's all i can think of, if there's anything else, let me know in the comments and i'll add it here.
> 
> to anyone who isn't jazzy who may be reading this, this is a sequel to my past soonhoon one-shot, "lie again", which is the first work in the series this one-shot is part of. i would suggest reading that before you read this, as some things may be a little confusing if you don't.
> 
> now that that's out of the way, happy reading! i hope you enjoy!
> 
> edit: 2020.07.14 i have edited the last sentence in this because i described sy and jh rubbing their noses together as an esk*mo kiss, unaware that that word is a slur. i now know that it is a slur, and that it's offensive, and i have fixed the wording, and i apologize to anyone who i may have offended in doing this. this won't happen again.

The list of places where Jihoon would expect to see Soonyoung is short. The sidewalk in front of the local flower shop with tears running down his cheeks and a ruined bouquet of carnations and roses in his hands is definitely not on that list. Jihoon almost trips over him, actually, as he’s running down the street in panic on his way to a date he’s already almost half an hour late to. He doesn’t want to be that guy, and be the one who stands up rather than the one who gets stood up, but when he sees Soonyoung like that, something tugs at his heartstrings, even after two years of almost (but not quite) radio silence. He really doesn’t want to cancel a date after it’s technically already begun, but a little instinct is pulling at his sleeve like a child trying to get someone’s attention. 

A little devil on his shoulder is whispering in his ear, telling him he can’t just leave Soonyoung in a state like this, and Jihoon isn’t quite sure why his emotions are getting so heightened at this sight, considering he broke up with Soonyoung two years ago, and they’ve never spoken beyond awkward small talk every few months since then. But that little devil is awfully convincing, so he pulls out his phone and rattles off a quick text to this Mingyu guy a coworker had introduced him to last week, a simple _Hey, sorry to do this on way too short notice, but I’m gonna have to cancel tonight. Can I take a rain check? Again, sorry._ Mingyu replies within seconds with _Of course!_ accompanied by a smiley face, but Jihoon has a feeling that the smiley face isn’t sincere. Mingyu has every right to be angry, of course, considering the circumstances, but right now, Mingyu is being pushed to the backburner in Jihoon’s mind.

He squats down next to Soonyoung, cocking his head to one side. He doesn’t want to actually let any part of his body besides his feet touch the dirty sidewalk, but keeping balanced in this position is really difficult, even for just a short time, and after only a few seconds, his ankles are already starting to hurt, so he shifts to a sitting position. “Hey. What’s wrong?” Sheesh, that felt...weird. Awkward. Really awkward. But Jihoon has already dug himself a hole, and all he can do now is lay in it, so he does. He reaches out a hand to gently touch Soonyoung’s shoulder, which also feels weird and way too personal, way too intimate for the level zero of closeness that their relationship has spiraled down to over the years.

Soonyoung looks up at him, eyes bloodshot and red-rimmed, very visible tear streaks webbed like cracks in glass across his cheeks. Surprise flashes in his gaze for a brief second, overtaken quickly by an emotion Jihoon can’t place. He’s never been very good at reading people, especially not by simply looking into their eyes. People always say the eyes are the windows to the soul, but when Jihoon looks through those windows, he never sees anything he can recognize. “Jihoon? What are you doing here?”

Jihoon doesn’t want to say he was on his way to a date. He knows Soonyoung will send him on his way and force him to go, so he just says, “Oh, I was just taking a walk. You know how it calms me down.” He almost winces at that last sentence; he said it on instinct, without thinking, and it brings back a sort of painful nostalgia. Of course Soonyoung would know. There was a time when he and Jihoon had known every single little thing about each other, down to the fact that Soonyoung put milk before cereal like a heathen (Jihoon had loved him anyway, though). Jihoon wonders how much they know about each other now. Do they remember everything they’d known before? Have things changed? Does Soonyoung put cereal first now? Does he use Crest toothpaste instead of Colgate? Has he finally stopped wearing Crocs in sports mode? Has he finally realized that those garish printed Bermuda shorts he loves to wear are only really worn by middle-aged men who play golf and drink shitty beer all weekend?

Soonyoung nods, and Jihoon thinks he can see in Soonyoung’s eyes that those words hurt him too a little bit, but when he looks through those windows to Soonyoung’s soul, it’s like the window desperately needs to be cleaned and the view beyond it is just barely too blurry to make out. “Yeah, of course I remember. How could I ever forget?” Jihoon wants to ask the question he’d asked before that he knows Soonyoung hadn’t answered, but for a second he gets a little too lost in staring into Soonyoung’s eyes and forgets what the hell he’d even asked in the first place.

He coughs, clearing his mind along with his throat, and averts his eyes to stare at a crushed cigarette butt a few centimeters away from his foot. “Um, so, what’s wrong? What happened?” Soonyoung looks up at Jihoon in a way that makes him feel like he should know, like he already has all the answers, and that’s sort of scary to Jihoon; it reminds him vaguely of the way Soonyoung used to look at him like he _was_ all the answers, and it makes him want that back, it makes him want Soonyoung to look at him like that all the time again.

Soonyoung blinks, shaking Jihoon out of his own thoughts, and throws his hands up in a sort of helpless exasperation. “Well, I just got dumped. It was our six-month anniversary, and I was about to give him flowers, clearly, but...obviously that didn’t go as expected.”

Jihoon grimaces, his lips spreading in a sort of boxy shape around gritted teeth. “Oh, yikes. I’m sorry. Who the fuck dumps someone on an anniversary like that?” Had he dumped Soonyoung on an anniversary? He racks his brain, scrambling to remember whether that day was special for any other reason than the fact that he had finally stopped lying to Soonyoung and stringing him along on charades of untruths, hoping he didn’t just say something disgustingly hypocritical. No. That day wasn’t anything special, nothing different from any other mundane day.

“Eh, it’s okay. Not really the end of the world, it just kind of hurts.” Soonyoung chuckles, the sound dry and insincere. “It’s funny, I haven’t had a long-term relationship since you.”

Jihoon looks away, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip. _Ouch_. He knows he hurt Soonyoung, don’t get it twisted. He just doesn’t particularly enjoy being reminded of just how much he had hurt Soonyoung, doesn’t like being reminded that in Soonyoung’s story, he’s the bad guy, the antagonist. His voice is quiet, barely audible, and he can barely even force the words out of his throat, as he mutters, “I’m sorry, Soonyoung. I really am.”

Soonyoung shakes his head, his brow furrowing as he leans forward to grasp Jihoon’s shoulders in his hands, hands that are oddly warm given that he isn’t wearing gloves and it’s the middle of winter. “No, no, Jihoon, it’s not your fault. That’s not what I was trying to say, or imply, or whatever. It’s not your fault at all. There’s no need to apologize. It’s not because of you, it just so happens that in these past couple of years, I’ve had trouble with commitment, and that’s not because of what happened with you.”

Jihoon looks up at Soonyoung, a sad smile blooming on his face. “Oh, Soonyoung.” He shakes his head, the smile wilting like the bouquet between them is beginning to, in places. “Don’t lie to people to avoid hurting their feelings. Don’t turn into a replica of who I was before. It’ll bring nothing but regret along with it, trust me.”

Soonyoung’s eyes cloud over, and Jihoon can see he’s made Soonyoung sad, but Jihoon knows what he said was true. He knows it’s his fault, he knows it’s because of what happened in their living room two years ago, he knows it’s all because of him. No good comes out of sugar-coating things that just aren’t meant to be sweet. After Soonyoung says nothing for about five minutes, Jihoon stands up, brushing off the back of his pants and praying that the sidewalk hasn’t left behind any questionable stains on his ass, and walks away.

-

The list of places where Jihoon would expect to see Soonyoung has gotten longer recently. Since that conversation on the sidewalk, they’ve run into each other a lot more often, in the strangest places: the bank (Jihoon could have sworn Soonyoung had an account with the other bank halfway across town from this one, but sometimes memory gets fudged), that one karaoke bar that Jihoon completely forgot Soonyoung’s friends frequent, the public library (Soonyoung is not one for reading, or at least he wasn’t two years ago), and many others. Every time they run into one another (which is so often, Jihoon seriously thinks fate is just messing with him at this point), they make small talk like the flower shop conversation never happened, and Jihoon likes that better than he thinks he would like discussing that conversation.

Today is one of those encounters, when they just so happen to be standing next to each other in a crowded Starbucks waiting for their orders to be ready. Jihoon knows Soonyoung saw him already, and he figures there’s no point in ignoring him, and he may as well just say something to be nice. He twiddles his thumbs, hands locked low near his lap. “Hey, Soonyoung.” Soonyoung nods in response, acknowledging Jihoon’s existence, sort of. “Are you still living with Chan?”

Soonyoung nods again, and replies, “Yeah, I am. I was living with Jeonghan before he dumped me a few weeks ago, but I moved back in with Chan after that whole disaster.” He lets out a dry, sarcastic-sounding laugh, and adds, “I mean, I shouldn’t have even moved in with him that soon. We were taking things way, _way_ too fast.”

Jihoon nods, and lets out an _ah_ of understanding. “Yeah, taking things too fast usually isn't a good thing. You know what they say, slow and steady wins the race.” He flicks his eyes to stare at the pretty swirling cursive of the paint on the wall behind the counter that reads _Welcome to Starbucks_. He needs to focus on anything right now besides how good Soonyoung looks in red, because if he keeps looking, he’ll start blushing, and that would create a situation that is the opposite of ideal.

One side of Soonyoung’s lips turns up in a half-smile, and he mutters just loud enough for Jihoon to hear over the multiple conversations going on around them and the background music of two of the baristas playing an obnoxiously loud game of Hello Cleopatra while they make frappuccinos. “Yeah, slow and steady. Slow and steady wins the race.” He pauses, then turns to Jihoon, quirks an eyebrow up, and asks, “What about you? Are you living with anyone at the moment? I remember you said a few months ago that your old roommate Seungcheol moved out because he had to go take care of a sick family member or something. Have you found a new roommate, or are you still living alone?”

Jihoon doesn’t remember ever mentioning anything about Seungcheol to Soonyoung, _ever_ , but they do have a few friends in common, so maybe Junhui or Wonwoo said something about that. “Oh, I found a new roommate within a few weeks, which was a blessing. Rent isn’t cheap, and around here, if you don’t have a job with a six figure salary, you need someone to split it with.”

Soonyoung nods, blowing a puff of air out of puckered lips in a sigh of sorts. “Damn right. Chan and I are considering taking in a third person since Chan got laid off from one of his jobs.”

Jihoon winces, his heart twisting with sympathy. He knows that feeling all too well, the feeling of scrambling to find a way to pay rent before the deadline so you don’t get kicked onto the streets. “Well, I hope you find someone fast.”

“Thank you. Who’s your new roommate? What are they like?” Jihoon doesn’t process Soonyoung’s question for a few seconds, focused for the moment on listening to make sure the barista hasn’t already called out his name.

He turns to Soonyoung, deeming himself ready to set his eyes on that red button-down without having a mini stroke. “His name’s Jisoo. He’s really nice, super chill. He said he might end up leaving soon to move in with his boyfriend, whose name is...Hansol or something, I’m not really sure. But he says he’ll let me know when that’s confirmed, and wait to leave until I find someone to take his place, which is really nice of him.”

One of the baristas calls out Jihoon’s name along with his order of an Americano, and he takes it from her hands, walking back to where Soonyoung is standing. Soonyoung chuckles, and says, “Well, that would make a perfect arrangement.” Jihoon raises an eyebrow in questioning as he takes a sip of his scalding hot coffee, and Soonyoung continues, “Maybe when Jisoo moves out of your place, you could move in with Chan and I.” Jihoon abruptly chokes on the hot liquid that has already made its way halfway down his throat, which is not a pleasant sensation at all, barely holding himself back from spewing it directly onto Soonyoung’s shirt.

-

The list of places Jihoon expects to see Soonyoung includes damn near everywhere now. He’s unavoidable (seriously, the ice cream aisle at 2:45 in the morning on a Wednesday?), and it’s doing things to Jihoon’s heart that he’s still not sure if he likes or not. Jisoo had let him know last week that he has made the decision to move in with Hansol (so Jihoon _had_ guessed his name right when he’d been talking to Soonyoung in that Starbucks), and the amount of times Jihoon has considered taking Soonyoung up on the offer of moving in with him and Chan even though it might have just been a joke is off the charts, astronomically high. Jihoon is concerned for himself at this point, honestly, because yes, he’s lived with the two of them together before, and living with Chan again would be nice, but he knows damn well moving in with Soonyoung so soon after they’ve started talking to one another regularly again is a terrible idea.

Jihoon hates it when his heart starts advocating for things that are terrible ideas, because in the end, his heart usually wins out over his brain, which is so annoying and inconvenient in most situations, especially this one. In fact, right this very moment, he’s sitting in silence on the couch in the living room heavily considering moving in with Soonyoung and Chan and selling the apartment while Jisoo talks animatedly on the phone with Hansol, rambling on in that endearing passionate way he has about...something. Jihoon has been passively tuning him out for the past thirty minutes, too lost in his own thoughts to be able to focus on what Jisoo is saying. He turns his hand over to study his nails for a brief second, noting that he really should push his cuticles back sometime this week, and immediately goes back to thinking about how terrible of an idea this is and just how badly he subconsciously wants to do it.

In the end, much to his brain’s dismay, his heart wins out, and he calls Chan for the first time in much too long (is it wrong to actively avoid your ex’s best friend who was once a friend of yours too?). The phone rings four times before Chan answers, and when he does, he asks, “Jihoon?”, with a hint of surprise to his tone, like he’s sure it can’t be him and that somebody else must have that number now.

“Hey, Chan, yeah, it’s me.”

Chan lets out a breathy laugh, and when he talks again, Jihoon can hear in his voice that he’s smiling. “Damn, it’s been a while since you called me. How are you?”

Jihoon thinks about that for a few seconds, looking around his apartment, specifically at the one windowsill where there are a whole bunch of photos of him with his friends, old roommates, Chan, and even a few of Soonyoung that he never had the heart to remove from their place of honor in the center. He casts a glance toward the kitchen where Jisoo is still on the phone with Hansol, waving one arm around as he debates the right way to cook pasta. He turns his attention back to the phone call, and replies, “I’m actually really good right now.”

“Oh, yeah? That’s good, that’s good. Soonyoung told me he’s been running into you a lot lately.”

“Yeah, I’ve been seeing him literally everywhere, it’s like fate is out to get me or something.” He lets out an awkward chuckle, and asks, “Did he tell you about how he suggested that I move in with you guys, or was that a joke?”

Chan stays silent on the other end of the line, and with each second that passes without him saying anything, Jihoon grows increasingly nervous. He brings a hand towards his mouth to bite his nails, an old anxious habit that he’s tried so hard to break recently, but just before his teeth close on his thumbnail, Chan says, “No, that...that wasn’t a joke.” He pauses again, and continues frantically, “Make no mistake, he’s not offering because he’s like still in love with you or something, he’s offering because we really do need a third person to take on rent now that I got laid off, and we’d both rather it be someone we know than a stranger. And he said your roommate is moving out to live with his boyfriend soon, so...it sounds like a perfect arrangement.”

Jihoon brings his thumb away from his mouth, cursing himself under his breath for almost letting himself start that habit again after almost a month of not even picking at his nails, let alone biting them. “Yeah, it, uh, it does sound like a perfect arrangement. That’s...that’s actually why I called.” He hesitates for a second, his brain attempting to fight back against his heart again, but his heart puts a little hand on the brain’s head and shoves it back down. “I wanted to make sure the offer was genuine, because I’m seriously considering taking you up on it. It’ll take some time, because I’ll have to sell my apartment first, and I might not be able to move in with you guys before the next time rent is due, but I’ll try.”

Jihoon can hear a choked little gasp slip past Chan’s lips on the other end of the line, and Chan asks, “Wait, really?”, like he’d never once, not even in a million years, thought that Jihoon would agree to the proposal. “Like, seriously?”

“Yeah. Seriously. I’d love to live with _you_ again.” He chuckles to himself, and continues, “I’ve missed you. A lot, actually, and I’m really sorry that I didn’t make more effort to keep in touch with you after...you know.”

“Yeah, speaking of ‘you know’, are you sure you’re okay living with Soonyoung again? Your breakup was...really hard, for both of you. In different ways, sure, but hard regardless. Are you sure about this?” Jihoon gives his brain one last chance to consider this, to really think about the options, to weigh the good with the bad. He thinks about it, long and hard, and at one point Chan asks him if he’s still there to which he replies with a low grunt. In the end, he decides it can’t be that bad. If Soonyoung offered to let Jihoon move in with him, he clearly doesn’t hold any sort of a grudge against him for what happened (Soonyoung was never the type to hold a grudge anyway, but in that situation, Jihoon wouldn’t have blamed him one bit).

“Yeah, I’m sure. You know, we’re adults now, and we’re much more mature than we were two years ago, and I’m pretty sure we’re mature enough to be able to put the past aside and move on. Start over from scratch, if necessary. It won’t be a problem, Chan, I promise.”

Chan pauses for a moment before he responds, finally simply just saying, “Okay, then. I’ll talk to Soonyoung about it when he gets home from work, and I’ll call you back once he’s agreed, and we can talk about how this whole process is gonna go. Formulate a plan of action, you know?”

“Sounds good. Thanks, Chan. Goodbye. Talk to you again soon.”

“Bye, Jihoon.” Chan hangs up and Jihoon sits there on his couch, silent again, listening for a few minutes to the low beeping indicating Chan has hung up before he puts the phone down. It’s at that moment that Jisoo hangs up his call with Hansol, and pokes his head around the corner of the kitchen wall.

“Any luck with finding a roommate yet?”

Jihoon turns to face him, a small smile sneaking onto his face. “Possibly, yeah. I think I might end up selling this apartment once you move out and then move in with a couple old friends of mine. I’m just waiting on the decision of one person and then we’ll make plans as to how this will work.”

Jisoo smiles back at him, and darts out of the kitchen into the living room on his tiptoes, socked feet silent against the carpeted floor, and wraps his arms around Jihoon in an elated hug. He’s one of the few people Jihoon allows to hug him, because even though they don’t really know each other all that well, given that they’ve only been living together for just shy of three months, he’s just so sweet and bubbly and affectionate that really, how could he not allow it? “That’s great, Jihoon! Just let me know when things are finalized and I’m able to move out, okay?”

Jihoon nods, and replies, “I will. It shouldn’t be too much longer, if all goes well with these old friends.”

“Well, I hope things go well, then.”

-

The list of places Jihoon would expect to see Soonyoung has grown full to bursting. He moved in with Soonyoung and Chan almost a year ago, which had gone much more smoothly than he’d expected it to. He’d sold the apartment easily, Jisoo had moved in with Hansol as soon as that transaction was confirmed, and Jihoon had moved all his stuff to Soonyoung and Chan’s place, selling all his furniture other than his bed and a bean bag chair. Adjusting to living with Chan and Soonyoung again was much easier than Jihoon had thought it was going to be, and things have flowed smoothly throughout the year that he’s been living with them so far, much more smoothly than he had ever expected. Chan had welcomed him with wide open arms, and their friendship had rebuilt itself quite quickly, considering they’d barely spoken over the course of two years prior to Jihoon moving in.

The only issue Jihoon is encountering now is that he is one hundred percent, unavoidably, irrevocably, unequivocally, in love with Soonyoung once again. That’s a problem for two reasons: 1) he’s living with Soonyoung, they’re friends again, and telling him that could possibly ruin the friendship they’ve newly built up and 2) the reason he’d broken up with Soonyoung in the first place was that he no longer loved him in the same way he used to, and turning that back on itself now would seem a bit wishy-washy, a bit false. But Jihoon doesn’t want to go back to being the secret-keeper and compulsive liar he had been three years ago, and his brain and heart agree for once: that telling Soonyoung is the right thing to do, whether it could end in consequence or not.

He flicks his gaze over to the windowsill of the bedroom he shares with Chan (they rotate who gets to have their own bedroom every few months), where three framed photos of him and Soonyoung rest, photos that used to hang in the apartment Jihoon had sold on the living room wall when they were dating, photos that became hidden behind others on the windowsill of that same living room after Soonyoung moved out and Seungcheol moved in.

  
The first one shows Soonyoung gently gripping Jihoon’s thighs which are tucked under Soonyoung’s armpits in strong hands, giving Jihoon a piggyback ride, a sparkler in Jihoon’s hand, his other entwined in Soonyoung’s hair, wide smiles on both their faces showcasing elated laughs. The second is of Jihoon sitting on the bartop in the kitchen of the apartment they used to live in, Soonyoung encased between his legs, Soonyoung’s arms wrapped tight around Jihoon’s waist and their foreheads just barely pressed together, the tips of their noses barely millimeters away from touching, nothing but love swimming in their eyes, bearing no struggle at all to stay afloat. The third is a cute little candid shot that makes Jihoon giggle a bit even now, of him standing on that same kitchen counter dumping a whole bag of flour over the top of Soonyoung’s head, a few grains here and there landing on Jihoon’s Rick and Morty socks, most of it dying Soonyoung’s night black hair and the dark grey fabric of his shirt with a powder of creamy off-white. 

Jihoon’s lips spread in a soft smile, faint fondness tinging its edges just the slightest bit. They’d been so happy, and then Jihoon’s feelings just had to fade and ruin everything. His heart clenches for a second, his smile fading and his brain running a mile a minute thinking about _Well, what if that happens again? What if these feelings are fleeting, too? What if this love is just as free to grow broken wings and fly away the same way it did last time?_ He shakes his head to disperse the negative thoughts, and forces his brain to focus on the fact that he doesn’t want to hide things from anyone anymore, especially not a certain Kwon Soonyoung. He takes one last look at those photos, and thinks to himself, _So what if it happens again? We’ll be happy while it lasts, and we’ll get over it. And maybe it won’t happen again. This feels different, and maybe it feels different because these feelings are built to last while the previous ones were fragile as eggshells._

He stands up from where he’s sitting on the edge of his bed and walks out into the kitchen, where Soonyoung is standing, leaning against the counter with a wooden spoon in his hand that he’s using as a makeshift microphone, singing softly, the lyrics to a song Jihoon doesn’t know pouring from his lips as smooth as the liminal flow of water, something about happy endings and _I love you_ ’s. It hits Jihoon all at once again, like gallons of ice cold water being dumped over his head and pouring across his shoulders and down the rest of his body, all the reasons why he fell in love with Soonyoung in the first place, from the way his voice changes when he sings to the hamster-like way his cheeks puff up when he smiles.

Jihoon leans against the wall across from Soonyoung, a barely-there smile wavering every so often from its position on his lips, keeping his eyes focused on Soonyoung (mostly his lips, Jihoon will admit, they _are_ quite distracting). When Soonyoung finishes the song with that final note hanging in the air like the last remnants of a whispered promise, he flashes a smile at Jihoon and asks, “So, what’d you think?”

Jihoon nods enthusiastically, and replies, “I really liked it. The lyrics are really beautiful, they really hit you right in the deepest darkest corner of your heart, you know?”

Soonyoung nods, matching Jihoon’s enthusiasm, and echoes, “They really hit you right in the deepest darkest corner of your heart.” His smile fades in an instant, replaced with a look of mild concern, and he cocks his head to one side, looking at Jihoon with shades of worry blending into his eyes. “Is something wrong? Did you come out here to ask me something, or did you just come to watch me sing, get the full performance instead of just the audio?” He chuckles, allowing himself a moment to laugh at his own joke briefly, before returning his attention back to Jihoon and letting the worry surge back into his expression.

Jihoon swallows, and it feels like he just gargled with rocks and is now trying to swallow them down and remove them from where they’re blocking his esophagus. He swallows again, which sort of helps a tiny bit, at least giving him the ability to speak. “Actually, I came out here to tell you something because I don’t want to hide it from you any longer.”

The worry in Soonyoung’s eyes magnifies, and he asks, “Oh, God, please don’t tell me you and Chan are dating. I hate third wheeling, and I think third wheeling to my best friend and my ex would be even worse than just plain old regular third wheeling.” Jihoon almost winces at Soonyoung’s use of the word “ex”. It feels harsh somehow, but he supposes this is a chance to remove Soonyoung’s usage of that word when referring to him.

“What? No, no, no offense to him, of course, but I could never date Chan.” Jihoon pauses to take a deep breath and asks, “How would you feel if I wasn’t your ex anymore?”

Soonyoung’s eyebrows knit together, and he raises one, narrowing his eyes in utter confusion. “What? Jihoon, what does that even mean? What are you trying to say?”

Jihoon figures there’s no time like the present, and blurts out, “I’m trying to say I don’t want to be your ex anymore. I want to be your boyfriend again.” He takes another deep breath, and in a voice barely above the volume of a whisper, says, “I’m in love with you, Soonyoung, I don’t know how else to put it.”

Soonyoung tries to back away, and quickly discovers he can’t, considering there’s a counter behind him that does nothing but dig into his back refusing to budge. He shakes his head profusely, and whispers, “No, no, no. Jihoon, I thought you...I thought you were done with lying to me about shit like this, I thought you were done playing games, I thought you were done with half-truths and keeping secrets.” Soonyoung slides down so he’s resting on his knees, and buries his head in his hands, and something in Jihoon’s heart wrenches, because it reminds him all too much of the position Soonyoung went into when Jihoon told him he didn’t love him anymore on that fateful day three years ago.

“No, no, I _am_ , Soonyoung. I am done with all that.” Jihoon kneels down and grips Soonyoung’s wrists in each of his hands, finding Soonyoung’s eyes with his own and holding his gaze there, intense and assuring. “I’ve been done with all that for years now, love. I swear to you, I’m not lying.”

Soonyoung blinks, casting his gaze down to the floor to avoid meeting Jihoon’s eyes, and mutters, “You’ve got to understand that it’s all just very hard for me to believe, I mean, I _never_ got over you, and if you’re lying again, I really think that would destroy me, it’d knock me down so hard I’ll never be able to get back up again, and-”

Jihoon gently reaches out and rests a finger on Soonyoung’s lips, hushing him. “I’m telling the truth this time. I can assure you of that. I never want to cause you pain the way I did the first time around, and I promise you, I’ll try my damned hardest to do things right this time.”

At those words, Soonyoung grabs Jihoon’s hand and locks their fingers together, rising to a standing position and pulling Jihoon up with him. He lets go of Jihoon’s hand, instead moving both of his hands to wrap around Jihoon’s waist and hoist him up so that his legs are wrapped around Soonyoung’s waist, resting perfectly on his hip bones. He turns around smoothly and sets Jihoon down on the counter, leaning in to press his forehead against Jihoon’s, just like in that one photo Jihoon couldn’t possibly be more glad he kept. “You swear you really do love me?”

Jihoon nods, and whispers, “I really do,” the last word swallowed by Soonyoung’s lips as they gently press against Jihoon’s, perfectly recreating the aftermath of that photo, creating perfect swarms of butterflies in Jihoon’s stomach, and it feels like he’s kissing Soonyoung for the very first time again, drunk out of his mind at a stupid college party he never wanted to go to in the first place. He slowly pulls away from Soonyoung, softly rubbing his nose against the very tip of Soonyoung’s in what he’s pretty sure his mother used to call a bunny kiss, and he thinks that maybe things will be alright this time.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked this! feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts, it would absolutely make my day <3


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